Loose Ends
by StrangeIsNotACrime
Summary: 'Problem' 'I.. Why are you still here? ' 'I don't know, Grace. Why am I still here? I'm a figment of your imagination, after all.'


**Hey all, I'm back again. Before I start I'd like to send out a huge thank you and a lot of love to blueeyedmentalistfan, RigspeltLover and Steph B, you keep me going! **

**Do not own The Mentalist, blah blah blah. **

**Enjoy :D **

Grace leaned against her kitchen worktop. Her entire body was on the verge of collapse but it was only early evening. Far too early to go sleep. Even if she'd gone to bed there and then, there would be nothing waiting for her other than painful memories and hellish nightmares. So she resigned herself to a stack of audits and a coffee to detain sleep for as long as possible. Anything to avoid seeing his face again.

'That's bad for you, you know?'

Grace spun around and found a pair of piercing blue eyes fixed intently on her. The same pair of eyes that had been haunting her for months. A pair of eyes that almost made her drop her coffee.

'Oh my God..'

'Problem?'

'I.. Why are you still here? '

'I don't know, Grace. Why am I still here? I'm a figment of your imagination, after all.'

'Are you? You're definitely not a spirit?'

'I wish I could say I was, Grace, for your sake. But nope, seems you're just going crazy.'

Grace looked up and met his gaze. The beginning of a smile was etched on his face and she couldn't quite tell if he was joking or not.

'I'm not crazy.'

'Wouldn't be the first time, sweetheart. Remember what happened when you were a kid? Those thoughts you kept having?'

The redhead's jaw dropped. 'I never told you about that,' She whispered, not daring to take her eyes away from him.

'You didn't need to. Like I say, I'm part of your mind. Your mind is telling me everything.'

'Stop it.'

'You can't pretend you don't love it.'

'I don't. Stop messing with my head.'

'Oh baby, but it's so much fun. I like it in your head. There's so many little secrets in there that you never told me. All your memories. So many quirks and foibles. So much pain and loss, so much anger and so much guilt. Why do you feel guilty, Precious? Tell me.'

'Tell you?' Grace snorted. 'I wouldn't tell you this stuff when you were alive, why would I tell you now?'

'Because I think I'm here to help you. To give you closure.'

'Well, you're giving me a headache.'

'Actually, Gorgeous, I think you'll find you're giving yourself a headache. Because I'm-'

'A figment of my own imagination, I know that.' Grace closed her eyes to stop a tear falling. 'Why can't I move on?'

'Because it's impossible to move on from something like this. You're never going to forget me. I'll be with you day and night, wherever you go, whatever you're doing. You'll hear the echo of bullets or you'll feel me kiss your forehead. Maybe a hand in yours. Every time you cough, you'll think of me. I'll be in the bathroom with you when you're taking a shower, I'll be standing right behind you when you look in the mirror. My smell will haunt you every time you breathe in. On the rare occasions that you manage to sleep at night, I'll be in your dreams. You'll start craving that yoghurt I used to have for breakfast or you'll feel the urge to cut down on your caffeine like I always told you to. And then, just when you think you can't take it anymore, I'll come save you and be your knight in shining armour like when we first met.'

'Don't,' she begged, her voice cracking slightly. 'Please Craig, just leave me alone.'

'How can I leave you alone? I'm in your head, Grace. I'm going to be stuck there until you find a way to get rid of me. But until then, I'm going to stick around here. You know, it's quite cosy in your mind. Your mind is like a library where I can just step inside and walk around at my leisure. And each book in that library is one of your memories. You never told me about you had such a messed up childhood.'

Grace swallowed. 'That's none of your business. If you're in my head, then why are you asking me these things? Why are you saying all this stuff?'

'Because, my darling,' Craig sat on the arm of her chair. 'It's what you believe. I'm your head having a damn good laugh at your expense. Are you going to let that happen?'

'How do I stop it?'

'Stop it? Sweetheart, you can't stop it. You're not strong enough. You know you're not strong enough. You know that you'll always be weak, powerless to fight against the tortures of that warped little brain of yours. Hurts, doesn't it? It kills you a little bit inside every time you think about just how small and vulnerable you really are. Because, my sweet, you might pretend that all the crap you went through when you were a kid made you stronger, but it really didn't. It destroyed you and you know it. You're nothing now. And that's why you're so desperate to have something in your life, something good, to make you feel like you're not a total failure. It's why you're terrified of being yelled at or injured. It's why you can't bear it when you get a suicide case. Your past isn't ever going to leave you Grace, you know it. And now I'm a part of that past that isn't going to go away. I'm just another book in your messed up little library.'

Grace looked up at Craig for a moment. It was true, she knew that. Or at least, that was exactly what her head had been saying for years. She'd always been able to block it out before, but she couldn't push it to the back of her mind anymore. She was losing it.

'Is that all you've been doing for the past few months? Reading my mind?'

'Pretty much. Not a lot else to do when you're dead. Not that I'm actually here, but you know what I mean.'

'So what did you learn?'

'Pardon?'

'Come on, tell me what you've found out.'

'You should know, Treasure, it's your life.'

'Enlighten me.'

'Okay sweetheart, you asked for it. Grace Nicola Van Pelt, born in Latimer, Iowa, on the fourth of April 1984. You can play guitar, you used to do pretty much every sport you could, you're claustrophobic, you love the snow and you can't stand white chocolate. You once got really drunk on Malibu and almost got arrested for throwing up on a cop. You have five siblings, all younger than you. Scott, Megan, Rachel, Jamie and Natasha. Megan killed herself eight years ago and you blame yourself because you think you should have been home to stop her. Scott's been in and out of prison since he was fifteen for all sorts and you feel guilty for that too because you were practically his mother and you think you messed up somewhere along the line. Natasha has autism and you feel bad for not being able to take care of her anymore. Rachel hates you because of what happened with Megan but Jamie absolutely idolises you because you're the only one who stood by him when he came out. There's fourteen years between you and Natasha. Your mother got sick when you were thirteen, just after she had Natasha and you did most of the caring until she died four years later. Your Dad was always working and when he was home, he just beat the crap out of you because he hated you. He thought you weren't his daughter, that's why. But you know you are, you know that you have all that bad blood pumping away in your veins. You can't help thinking that he actually knew you were his, he just didn't love you as much as the others. You left home when you'd just turned twenty, four months after Megan topped herself, and went to stay with your friend and her uncle. And one night, he just got a tad too friendly, didn't he sweetheart? He wanted to have sex with you but you said no. You were a good girl, you stuck to your morals. But he didn't like that very much. He got angry. Pushed you down and did it anyway. He raped you. That's when you came here. Got on the first train you could, ended up in California, did your training and got yourself a nice little job here. You met a guy. He tried to kill you and Jane, so that didn't work out. You fell for a co worker, you had to end it to save your career. You'd already learnt that love wasn't worth the risk. Then you met me. And I whisked you off your feet, made you feel special. I charmed you. You could hardly turn down my proposal. And then I tore your world apart. You felt betrayed, angry, guilty. But you bottled it all up. And that, my love, is why I'm here now. To help you let it all out.'

Grace could do nothing but stare at Craig for a moment before she spoke in a shaky voice.

'Isn't that what I just did? By listening to you tell me everything about my life?'

Craig smirked. 'Not quite. There's something you have to do first.'

'What?'

'You have to stop being pissed at me.'

'Why?'

'Because as long as you hold onto those thoughts, you're holding onto me. Until you let me go, I won't be able to leave you alone.'

'How do I know that? How do I know that you aren't lying to me?'

'You don't. Why, do you have a choice?'

'Not really.'

'There you go then.'

'But what if this is just my psyche making it all up?'

'Grace, what do you think has been happening for the past couple of days? Everything I say is your mind playing tricks on you. Don't pretend otherwise.'

'Craig..' Grace began quietly. 'Yesterday, when you said you loved me..'

'You think you can't believe anything I said because I'm not real. Right?'

'So tell me I'm wrong.'

'I would, but like I say, how can you believe anything I say? I'm just some elaborate illusion that your mind has conjured up to taunt you.'

The redhead thought for a moment. 'And forgiving you..'

'Will end that. You'll feel much better, trust me.'

'Trust you? Not a mistake I'll be making again. Now, could you disappear for a couple of hours so I can get some sleep?'

Craig smiled. 'Anything you say, babe. But if you ever need me, you know where I'll be. I'll be watching over you, Grace. I won't stop protecting you. Because.. I know you won't believe me, because you have no reason to, but I really did care for you very much. And I'm sorry. I want you to be able to move on as well. Please, Grace. Please forgive me.'

Before Grace knew it, the figure sitting beside her had disappeared and she found herself sitting alone in her silent apartment. She shook her head to try and clear her mind a little and, abandoning her untouched coffee, headed straight for her bedroom. She changed into her pyjamas quickly, grateful for the softer material on her skin, and climbed into her warm bed. The sheets were freshly laundered and smelt of lavender. The soft scent calmed her uneasy mind a little. She rolled onto her side, took a deep breath and whispered into the darkness before closing her weary eyes.

'I forgive you, Craig.'

**Soooo? Let me know what you guys think :)**** Reviews wouldn't go amiss (Hint hint :P) Any requests or prompts, please message me and I'll do my best :) Big hugs and much love to all you lovely people out there :D **


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